unfollowryanross:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence

nevvzealand:

i dont understand how i can get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lump move around

(Source: moseby)

live-as-a-teen:

dogepom:

patickstump:

if you shame girls about their breast size i will push you into traffic

"Who’s flat now?"

whos flat now

(Source: patickstump)

pantryraids:

why do dads sneeze so loud

bitchytbh:

having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch 

I think someone should explain to the child that it’s OK to make mistakes. That’s how we learn. When we compete, we make mistakes.
― Kareem Abdul-Jabba (via kushandwizdom)

piercethemen:

I swear at least five of my two friends don’t like me

stability:

you know when youre in the car and your parents break hard and they throw their arm over you for protection?
I have same instinct with my take out food


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