if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
i dont understand how i can get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lump move around
if you shame girls about their breast size i will push you into traffic
"Who’s flat now?"
whos flat now
why do dads sneeze so loud
having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch
I swear at least five of my two friends don’t like me
you know when youre in the car and your parents break hard and they throw their arm over you for protection?
I have same instinct with my take out food